Sunday, July 17, 2011

Flirting miSTEAKS

Don't forget to add your flirting disasters in the comments below!

Ah, the lovely world of being single. Days and nights filled with your married friends inviting you to this or that event, hoping to help you find THE ONE. Little did I know my own parents are now apparently in on this fun little "find a boyfriend for Beth!" scheme. We head out to Outback Steakhouse last night for some family time, and our server happens to be completely adorable.

So Outback Guy comes to our table, immediately apologizing for taking so long to get over to us, to which I reply in my favorite coy/flirty voice, "Oh, we'll just take it out of your tip." We lock eyes, and BAM!, the silent flirt fest begins.

I don't know if any of you have ever tried to flirt with a guy while in your parents' presence, but let me just say it's not an easy task. Add to it that Outback Guy was also at his j-o-b, and you get a very interesting 45 minutes of secret glances mixed in with extra butter runs for my mom's bread obsession.

Halfway through the meal, Mom notices this covert flirting taking place and decides that I'm apparently not making it obvious enough that I'm interested. Mom has been married for 25 years; the only flirting she's done lately has been at the Macy's counter in order to score extra freebies. But, like any good mother, she decides I need some help. Fantastic. 

Now, I love my Mom with all my heart, so I'm not going to embarrass her by sharing what she said, but let's just say that by the end of her little spiel, Outback Guy seemed a bit confused. Now it seemed like he had two ladies flirting with him, and one has her husband sitting right beside her! Gotta love moms.

Apparently this debacle doesn't put him off though, because he's still giving me secret glances throughout the meal. When he drops the check, he gives me the Care Bear Stare, which, in my mind, can only mean one of two things. Either 1) he's trying to send me a ray of good love and cheer, or 2) he's interested, but if I want to pursue this, I'm going to have to make the move so he doesn't get fired for flirting with guests.

When all was said and done, I left my business card with "call me" scrawled on the back in his check presenter book. We'll see if I get a call or text. If not, Mom owes me big time. 

So, ladies and gents, it's your turn! I want to hear about your flirting disasters. Please write them in the comments section below. :)


  1. Well, I have definitely had my share of flirting disasters. Where to begin? Hmmm....Best example: I was outside of the mall one night and I see this gorgeous guy walking away from his car. I notice that his headlights are still on, so I politely mention it to him. What I actually said was, "Do you need some help turning off your lights?" I tried to sound all sexy, but it was an Epic Fail. He looked at me like I had two heads and said, "No thanks, I got it" as he pushed the clicker on his key fob. The car beeped and the lights turned off. Stupid car-clicker-thing: 1, Sarah: Big, HUGE 0!

  2. Sarah, it's such a shame when our words don't come out the way we want them to! Thanks for sharing. :)