Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Mulch much? A gardening disaster.

Not only am I a disaster master when it comes to my love life, but I also happen to have two black thumbs when it comes to gardening. This week's disaster is all thanks to my condo association and their unwillingness to provide fresh mulch. They are what my students would refer to as "silly heads". Yeah, let's go with that one.

Step 1: Beg and plead for my dad to come over and do it for me.

Step 2: When dad says no, beg and plead to borrow his rolling cart so I can do it myself.

Step 3: Purchase mulch. Who knew there were so many choices? I literally walked around the mulch section at Home Depot three times with my jaw open. I think I may have scared a little old man who thought I was chasing him around in circles.

Step 4: Fit all the lovely bags into the back seat of my Ford Focus. Luckily I have a doggie car seat cover, so I didn't get any mulch bits stuck in the leather.

Trying to think of some funny line involving
bark in my backseat...wait for it...wait...yeah, got nothing.

Step 5: Elicit the assistance of my neighbor Trish, whose front porch makes mine look like the Clampetts' before they made it to Beverly Hills.

Step 6: Realize that I've sadly underestimated the amount of mulch needed. 

Should have paid more attention when I taught
that math lesson about "area" last year.  ;)~

Step 7: Kick a rock and swear a little.

Step 8: Head back to Home Depot for more mulch.

Step 9: Learn a fascinating trick! Trish uses an old broom to spread the mulch out evenly. I was just planning on shuffling it around with my feet until I got the desired effect. Gifted, but no common sense.

My neighbor Trish showing me her broom trick.

Step 10: Admire my work and that fresh pine scent whenever I step outside. Well, at least until the next rainstorm washes it all away and I have to start all over again. <sigh>

My cat Cairo enjoying my work. Or stalking lizards. One can never tell.

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