Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Online Dating or as I like to call it, "What the F*@k Am I Going to Wear?"

All rights reserved by Whybealone1

Why online dating blows out my flip-flop:

1) It's like a having a second job where you're constantly refining your search, hiring and firing employees on a daily basis, and you get paid in text bombs by guys who can't take a hint.

2) You have the same first date over and over again. My favorite joke about a giraffe in a bar is no longer funny (actually, I was the only person who ever laughed at that one).

3) All the dating sites are turning into overly done versions of Hot or Not.

4) Seeing your ex online a week after he broke up with you. NOT FUN.

5) You cannot smell people online. Enough said.

Why online dating party rocks:

1) It's so much easier to Google stalk someone when you've got a whole page about them to go on. Unless they're a big fat liar. Even then, it's a good method for weeding out the big fat liars.

2)  You could be wearing a ratty old tank top and a pair of TOMS your puppy chewed up and no one is the wiser.

3) You get to choose your first impression through carefully chosen photographs. And on a side note: ladies, stop doing the overhead, look-down-my-shirt shot. You are fooling no one. You have curves. He's going to see them when he meets you in person anyway. Get over it and find a guy who likes some meat on his woman, à la Fifty Shades.

4) If you're a girl, and you search your competition, you get to laugh at other chicks who think doing fish lips makes them look hot. Huge self-esteem booster. By the way, I thank the stars every day straight men doing fish lips has not become a thing.

5) When you find the right guy, it truly makes all the nonsense worthwhile.

Happy dating, my singletons. ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment